Chapter Data
Date and Time 05.12.2030 17:04:57 UTC
Place IP address: [1]
Code Tiniyós


5 years and still no brand names

The Agglutination Strikes!
By His Name, You Don’t Need to Care About

The world is in shock as the Agglutination made its first move.

At 9:42 UTC, the Agglutination landed in Messina, South Africa (see map on left) and established control over it, by virtue of an embarrassing fleet and some guns that have been outdated for several years now but are still deadly. They have taken the entire population of Messina as its hostages and will have them killed if its request is not fulfilled. The request is that the Limpopo Province (the province that Messina is located in) will separate from South Africa and will be recognized as a new country: the first sovereign land of the newly formed Agglutination.

“This is ridiculous. They took a town, and expect a county? That’s just wishful thinking,” says an unnamed spokeswoman on the invasion of Messina. “I don’t care, but they would not get what they want.”

“We have to be careful, though,” stated another unnamed spokeswoman. “Messina may be the first to fall, but let’s make it the only thing to fall. We are considering combining all three capitals to Cape Town, but as you can think that operation is not easy. We’ll just have to warn everyone else.”

As Messina is so close to Zimbabwe, the representative for Zimbabwe is also calling to step up the defense – if it could sort out its massive inflation problem, of course.

Visitors are advised not to get anywhere near South Africa until further notice. This is the first ever instance of a terrorist group using a city as a hostage, after all.

Reports show that the 20,000 residents of Messina are alive and well and actually being fed, clothed and are cared well by the Agglutination. One wonders which side is the one you’re supposed to root for…

Oh boy, thought Cree. He is so going to have a summer holiday in the middle of winter.


  1. I claim no responsibility for this IP address, and I do not care who it belongs to. Tough luck.

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