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CHAPTER 4: LOG 1: THE CANONSEdit

…Watch 10its old tricks though. While 10its mind-control techniques won’t work on you, do be aware that 10it has a tendency to try to kill even 10its friends, much less you. Ms. Elongated Vowels is a vicious being.

A rather loud beep stopped his reading. It was YokandsotkeBíloyækontusa.

Log begins 50,000,000,184 k181+704° 381’ 208”

Sender ([]) Action (^) Message ([])
AG  : Doroesteeeeeeee.
GIV  : Ah, Ms. Elongated Vowels. Queries on the rationale of contacting me?
AG  : Ms. Elongated Vowels? What an idiotic name.
AG  : My name, if you haven’t read a 8ook, is Vriska.
AG  : Vriska Serket.
GIV  : So it shall be, Ms. Serket.
GIV  : Still, comments on your elongated vowels travel far.
AG  : You remind me
AG  : Of a certain man.
AG  : One that I don’t want to think about.
GIV  : And who will that be?
TELFE  : Me. Of course.
TELFE  : Although my anonymity seems to be stripped here.
TELFE  : TELFE is what, exactly?
AG  : Ha! Serves you right, you stupid manipul8ve 8east.
GIV  : Now, now. Restrictions on verbal conflict must be imposed.
AG  : And what is with you, then, making words longer than Kanaya’s?
AG  : You just so want to talk to her.
AG  : I’ll get her in a minute.
GIV  : Hang on, what?
TELFE  : Wait for 10:2.
GIV  : Yeah, sure. I’ve got the time.
GA  : What Is The Problem Here
GA  : Why Am I Summoned Here
GIV  : And you must be the aforementioned “Kanaya” 7thing?
GA  : The Way You Stated That Makes Me Somewhat Uncomfortable
GA  : Don’t Do Anything About That Seven
GA  : I Am Not Of The Seventh Gender If That Is What You Are Hazarding
GIV  : Records show otherwise.
AG  : See? 8ig words. I told you two will fit peeeeeeeerfectly.
GA  : We Seem To Have Different Types Of Loquaciousness If That’s What You Meant
GIV  : I’m not loquacious; I just use word order a little unconventionally.
TELFE  : Does this even pertain to me?
TELFE  : I’ll be back after a certain period of time.
TELFE  : It all depends.
TELFE Status = –1
GA  : GIV, If That Shall Be Your Name
GIV  : No. It’s Doroeste.
GA  : Very Well Then Doroeste
GA  : There Is Something You Must Know
GA  : Kalšunay Has Received Intelligence Of A Certain Planet Being Invaded
GA  : I Do Not Know What Is Said Planet’s Name
GA  : It Seems That That Data Is Restricted
EKD  : Not really. Ask around! Look for answers!
GIV  : Why didn’t you tell me anyway?
EKD  : Because I forgot.
EKD  : Call me clumsy.
GIV  : Clumsy!
GC  : 1 SM3LL THE N33D FOR 1NFORM4T1ON
GC  : TH4T SUNR1SE R3D
GC  : 1TS 1RR1S1ST4BL3
GIV  : So apparently you told
GIV  : Terezi
GIV  : Of the planet!
GIV  : I don’t know how you mistake us, with wildly different colors and names!
EKD  : Yeah like whatever.
EKD  : Does not matter now that you know who holds the key now does it?
GIV  : I suppose that’s true.
GIV  : So, Terezi, what shall be the name
GC  : 1T 1S
GC  : OH GOD TH1S 1S H4RD
GC  : 3L3SK1TOKÁSO
GC  : HOW DO3S ON3 PRONOUNC3 TH4T >:?
GIV  : Eleskitokáso? It’s just how you say it.
GIV  : Elle-skit-o-ca(r)-so.
GIV  : Pretty simple, isn’t it?
GC  : HMM
GC  : 4PPAR34NTLY 1T 1S SOME K1ND OF S3CR3T M1L1T4RY B4S3
GC  : 4ND 4LSO 4 R3SORT 1SL4ND
GC  : THOSE TWO TH1NGS JUST DON’T GO TOG3TH3R
GC  : 1TS L1KE K4RK4TS BLOOD AND W4T3R
GC  : 3UUGGH
GIV  : That one!
GIV  : EKD, just how do you manage this thing!?
GIV  : You give these things to some odd girl way out in Alterniyë, and not me!?
EKD  : Look I said I was sorry.
GIV  : My rage is rampant!
GIV  : But in any case, write on.
GC  : TH4TS TH3 3ND OF TH3 P4P3R
GC  : OH NO
GC  : TH3 B4CK R34DS
GC  : “FOR MOR3 1NFORM4T1ON PL34SE CONT4CT T4VROS N1TR4M OF 189 K3LTR3ST3 STR33T, 4KOR3NS3, 4LT3RN1Ÿ3.”
GC  : TH4TS NOT HOW YOU SP3LL 4LT3RN14 >:[
GIV  : Phonetic spelling. It’s important.
GIV  : But in any case, boss, why!?
EKD  : ...

Log ends 50,000,000,184 k181+710° 34' 170"

You really hate your boss. He’s so obtuse it’s a wonder that he hasn’t went and gone reflex yet (his body did go reflex, by the way). But that doesn’t matter for now, because you’ve got a couple of things to do. First of which is that letter of abstinence. Genehironsalten ek ul SehontaStiyorenÆsda Ver. (180374, 18) XCVIII can wait. You got bigger fish to fry.


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